DON’T WASTE YOUR SINGLENESS
From my experience singles have three mindsets (predominantly): 1.) They are zealous in their singleness because it allows them to do what they want when they want to do it. 2.) They are mindless in their singleness. It is what it is. 3.) They are hyper vigilant on getting married, and typically this only further frustrates their attempts towards their goals.
I started with the gospel and gospel based liberty because it corrects all three of these. If we are making much of our singleness (for the better or for the worse) it becomes harder to make much of Christ. If we are mindless in any portion of our lives, it is more difficult to live for Christ, and therefore less satisfying.
Paul offers three benefits of being single when it comes to serving Christ. The first is that singleness is spared the suffering that can accompany marriage relationships. Living with a fellows Christian is still living with a recovering sinner, we can hurt each other. Inside of marriage we also have to feel the pain of losing a loved one or burying a child. Paul says, “Those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that” (1 Cor 7:28). Single people, you have less to lose, so risk for the gospel comes at less of a price. Risk more.
Secondly, Paul points out the temporary nature of earthly things: “This is what I mean brothers, the appointed time has grown very short…” (1 Cor 7:29). He goes on to say that those who are married should live as if they are not, those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing. What Paul is pointing out is not pessimism, but perspective. In heaven we will be so enraptured by the person of Christ that our earthly relations and affections will simply prove…insignificant. Single people, because your heart is free from spouses and children, it is easier for eternal things to weight chiefly on your hearts. Married folks, you aren’t given a hall pass, but you are given the joyful burden of loving your family with all your heart, while loving Christ even more.
Lastly, Paul calls singles to live carelessly for the Lord: “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord” (1 Cor 7:32). Paul counters this with the married man being concerned with his own family. Paul isn’t saying we shouldn’t be concerned with our families, but he is pointing out the freedom single people have in their relational responsibilities. I have to deal with my corporate responsibility towards Christ, and my local, and Biblical, responsibility to my family. Singles can live with passion, time, and more energy for the things of Christ because they are free from the responsibility of family. Your singleness shouldn’t be marked by trivial and empty things “because you have the time.” It should be marked by the unique opportunity you have to make much of Christ with the whole of your time and person.
Your position as single is a gift. And it is unique. You don’t need anything more than Christ to serve Christ. So stop sitting, stop wasting, and start using your singleness to the glory of God and the expansion of his church.
Just a note in closing, those who are married need not preach the “niceness” of marriage. God has wired men and women to be attracted towards each other. Our singles know that. What we need to do instead is preach Christ through our marriage. Ultimately this is the sustainable and attractive portion of marriage. It is also a view of marriage framed in worship, not cultural norms. We don’t want people to marry because they can, we want people to marry because marriage is innately worship filled and evangelistic, and it offers a natural place to birth and raise more Christians (also evangelistic).(I didnt write this.)
